


Kismet

by TheSlytherinSal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Kakuhida - Freeform, KisaIta - Freeform, KisaIta Week, M/M, NaruSasu - Freeform, Residential KisaIta Romantic Comedy, SasoDei - Freeform, ShiUta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23959579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSlytherinSal/pseuds/TheSlytherinSal
Summary: Kismet: Two Stangers meet in a bar and fall in love. It must be like fate or something ;) KisaIta (other pairings: SasoDei, KakuHida, NaruSasu, ShiUta)
Relationships: Deidara/Sasori (Naruto), Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto), Hoshigaki Kisame & Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Shisui/Utakata
Comments: 31
Kudos: 59





	1. “Hey. Hey. Hey. I’m here to cultivate a fantasy.”

_Another day, another chance to make something of your meager existence._ That was what Fugaku, Itachi’s father used to say when he was younger. That had been his motto. Since then Itachi looked at every day as a way to expand his already extensive knowledge. Last night he read up on some romance novel that the women at the library couldn’t get enough of. Itachi thought the book had some merit, but overall it was trash. 

The raven spent most of his days locked in a similar routine. Feed the cat, shower, a cup of coffee, work, home, tea and dinner (for the cat too), dessert and a book. His cousin, and co worker, Shisui found his routine dreary. He told Itachi plenty of times that “A little spontaneity never killed anyone.” 

Susanoo, Itachi’s cat, cooed as Itachi filled it’s bowl up with milk and food. She was a lean cat with a midnight coat and ocean colored eyes. She was a doll when she wasn’t scratching up the carpet. Itachi was sure he wasn’t getting a dime of his security deposit back if he ever decided to move. 

The cat hummed and ate her food happily. Itachi smiled at the sight. She woke him up at seven am everyday to feed her. She ate on a finite schedule, and didn't like her food a minute late. 

Itachi turned and went away to complete his morning routine, which consisted of a shower, brushing his teeth, and then getting dressed. He decided on a pair of black jeans and polo. He’d rather blend in at work, than stand out. Lastly he poured himself a piping hot cup of caffeine, then wished his cat a quick goodbye, and of course it didn’t respond. 

When Itachi arrived at work, he was greeted by his cousin, who sat at his computer smiling like he’d heard the funniest joke ever. 

“Sitting on a secret?” Itachi asked as he took the seat across from him. 

“Yeah guess what I heard?”

“What did you hear?” Itachi sat his cup of coffee down and grabbed various books out of satchel. 

“You’re up for a promotion.” Shisui smiled. 

“A promotion?” Itachi was puzzled. He knew he was doing a great job, but he didn’t think they liked enough to offer him a promotion. Honestly, Itachi didn’t know if he wanted to take it. Being in a position of power was being pulled between the people at the bottom and the malice board up top. He’d rather not dance for then men up top. 

“Yes, bro.” Shisui kicked his feet up on the desk. “Of the archival department.” 

“What happened to Tsuande?” 

“Her number has been called and now she’s going to be library director.” Shisui smiled. “Danzo got fired for stealing money out of the donation fund, and the board loves Tsunde. They were dying to get Danzo out of here anyways.” 

“I don’t think I’m the person for the job.” Itachi shrugged. 

“It’s between you and Deidara.” As soon as Deidara’s name left his cousin’s mouth Itachi rolled his eyes. Deidara was a tall blonde skinny hipster that worked in that archival department as well. He spent most of his time trying to convince us to blow up old artifacts rather than keep them. It was because of him that they had a History of Fireworks Gala at the library last Fourth of July. 

“No way.” Itachi sighed. 

“Yes.” Shisui also sighed. “Man. This is really life or death. Do you think Deidara would be a good boss? Do you want Deidara to be our boss?” Deidara, their coworker, had the mind of a genius and the manners of a two year old in their no phase.

“I’m not too keen on it, but I don’t think-” 

“Itachi quit being so humble. You should’ve been the manager of this department six years ago, when you started.” Shisui said. “You’re smarter than all of us and you graduated top of your class from Harvard.” 

“Yeah, but-” 

“No buts. You’re destined for greatness.” Shisui set up straight.

“Why would the board want Deidara to be in charge of archival?” Itachi asked. “He hates preserving things; it goes against his whole aesthetic.” 

“Deidara’s been rubbing shoulders with them, and they like the idea of blowing up worthless artifacts.” Shisui said. “Like selling tickets to see random things blown up behind the library.” 

“He wants to blow up artifacts?” 

“Yes.” Shisui hands came down on the desk in a panic motion. “You need to stop him.” 

“Why don’t you go for the position?” Itahci asked. “You’re smart.” Shisui had a very happy disposition about him, but he was a very passionate person. When he loved something he fought very hard for. He also graduated in the top five percent of his class at Columbia. 

“The board doesn't want me.” Shisui said. “And besides, I’m trying to get in Tsunde’s good graces so she’ll give me one of the two assitant director positions. They’re getting rid of all three of them along with Danzo. Corruption runs deep.” 

“Wow. It’s gonna be a different office pretty soon.”

“The world's ending, but it’s okay.” 

“Hey Itachi my man.” Itahci and Shisui quickly turn to see Deidara standing there, a couple of books in hand. They seemed to be books on clay sculpting, which was Deidara’s favorite pastime. He didn’t miss one chance to bring it up to Itachi. He also never missed the chance to tell everyone that he went to Yale and graduated top of his class as well. 

“Hey Deidara.” Itachi said. 

“I just wanted to invite you to lunch today.” Deidara said. 

“May I ask why?” 

“Just some friendly companionship, yeah.” Deidara smiled. “It’ll be great, Itachi my man. You can bring your cousin along if he’s willing?” 

“I um-” 

“Nonsense. Will meet at that sandwich place, Saiken.” Deidara said, a devious smile on his face. “It’ll be great. See you at noon.” 

Before Itachi could object, the blonde had disappeared.

“Damn he’s a piece of work.” Shisui spat. 

\-----

Saiken was a small sandwich shop down the street from the library. Along the walls, were bookshelves with many books that were donated by people of the city. The owner allowed people to take and bring back at their will. They believed when you finished a book it was only fair that you passed it onto the next person. 

Itachi loved the shop because it was quiet, and a great place to write papers. When Itachi was working on an essay he had published in a magazine it was a great place to come to escape his cat's antics. 

As soon as Itachi and his cousin walked in the door, they could see Deidara sitting in the corner with his hand up. Shisui waved at him to let them know they’d be over after ordering. They joined in the line behind five or six other patrons. 

“I hate him.” Shisui said. 

“Even the devil has some redeemable qualities.” Itachi chuckled. 

“I don't think Deidara has any redeemable qualities.” Shisui said. “I think he’s gonna intimidate you out of the race” 

“Well he has nothing to worry about because I don’t want the position.” Itachi said. “I’m fine where I’m at.” 

“If your mother heard what you were saying right now she would grab you by your ear.” Shisui warned. “An Uchiha never turns down an opportunity.” Itachi’s parents always warned him to never settle for anything less than being number one. This used to drive Itachi and his brother Sasuke mad. The older Itachi got, the more he realized that he’d rather be happy rather than stressed.

“Hey, I almost forgot that there’s this party I’m going to tonight.” Shisui said. “My friend is opening a bar, and I think you should come.” 

“Uhhhh-” 

“C’mon. Susanoo can take care of herself.” Shisui said. “You can’t marry your cat. It’s an upscale kind of bar. They’re serving champagne, how bad could that be?” 

“You know I don’t like parties.” 

“Just come out this once.” Shisui said. “I don’t ask if it’s not important. You can’t let your cousin go to a bar alone. Especially when I plan to drink plenty of champagne.” 

“You’re annoying.” Itachi rolled his eyes. 

“You know drunk Shisui is bad Shisui.” This was true. Drunk Shisui was another person entirely. Last time he got drunk he got banned from an entire neighborhood. 

“I’ll think about it.” 

“Hello.” They were interrupted by a brunette with a chin length haircut. He was a tall slender man, with a chiseled face and hazel eyes. He wore a blue polo and black pants, the uniform for the restaurant. “What can I get you?” 

“I don’t know…” Itachi watched as his cousin analyzed the boy name tag. “Uta-koot-ta.” 

“Uta-kata-” The other boy corrected his pronunciation. 

“What a nice name.” 

“I hear so many comments about my name; I’m thinking about wearing a name tag that says Max.” Utakata rolled his eyes. “Now what can I get you?” 

“I’m sorry if I offended you.” 

“No offense taken.” The cashier rolled his eyes. “It’s just typical. I’m used to people like you.” 

“Hey what’s that supposed to-” 

“We'll take two chicken avocado wraps, the kettle chips and two drinks.” Itachi nudged his cousin. He wasn’t about to watch him piss off the already agitated cashier. They paid for their food, and took their number. 

“We’ll bring it out to you.” Utakata said. 

“What the hell is wrong with him?” Shisui asked as they walked over to meet Deidara. 

“You need to learn that silence sometimes is best.” Itachi said. “You can’t be everyone’s friend.” 

They took a seat at the table, and there was a long silence after they greeted each other with a hello. This was obviously going to be an awkward lunch between the three of them. Mostly because Itachi and Shisui had never been to lunch with Deidara. They spent most of their days talking trash about the blond and trashing his ideas and work ethic. 

“I think that it’s amazing that you’re both being looked at for the same job.” Shisui finally said, as their food arrived. 

“Yeah.” Deidara said. “That’s why I invited you here, Itachi my man. I wanted to tell you that there won't be any hard feelings if I happen to get the job. Or you know if they decided to go with you, yeah.” 

“I don’t even think I’m going to campaign for it.” Itachi said. “It’s all yours if you want it.” 

“What?” Deidara looked at him puzzled. 

“I think that Itachi is trying to say that he isn’t really interested in being competitive.” Shisui said. “He wants the job. He just doesn’t-” 

“No. I don’t really want the job.” Itachi said. 

“Are you like punking me right now?” Deidara said. “It’s a pretty big raise.” 

“I live alone, and I can afford my cats food.” Itachi chuckled. “I’m fine.” 

“So do you think you’re too cool for this position?” Deidara questioned. “Like, do you think you’re better than all of us because we all actually have to work for something, while you can just do the bear minimum and be noticed?” 

“I don’t think it's that…” 

“I mean forgive me, but that’s what kind of grinds my gears about you, Itachi.” Deidara bit into his sandwich savagely.

“We didn’t come to lunch for war.” Shisui said. 

“There is no war, Shisui my man.” Deidara said. “There’s only happiness here. There’s only friendship here.” 

“Deidara you got mayo on your nose.” Shisui said. 

____

Kisame was a man in space. He was always just a couple inches from finding the ground. The only thing that wasn’t in constant disarray in his life was his greyhound Samehada. The big dog had a smokey grey coat with black onyx eyes. While his size was intimidating, he was a very playful dog. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He loved people and people loved him. 

Kisame alarm sounded off for the third time that morning. He rolled over and found his dog laying next to him. 

“I guess it's time to get up, huh?” He asked Samehada, who looked at him with large doe eyes. 

Kisame's morning routine was never consistent. The only thing that he did every morning correctly was feed Samehada. The rest of the morning was spent running around getting washed up and dressed and out the door with fifteen minutes to get to work. 

For Kisame to come down on his workers for being late, he was usually always late himself. He admitted multiple times that he had created a toxic system of tardiness at his job. 

Kisame owned a small seafood shop called Hoshigaki’s. They sold fresh seafood, cooked or uncooked. Usually people came in and bought it and made it at home. The shop only fried fish, which they were very good at. They were named the best place in the city to get fried catfish. 

Kisame pulled up at the shop, and scrambled out of the car. He looked at his watch. He made it with three minutes to spare. 

He walked up to the door, and Hidan and Omoi were waiting for him. As soon as he saw the two, he slapped himself internally. Omoi and Hidan were not a good team. Omoi was very indecisive and Hidan was a jerk. They would surely kill each other before the shift was over. Hidan, who was Kisame’s assistant manager, would surely cuss him out before the day was over. 

Omoi was new and just started a few days ago. He hadn’t worked with Hidan yet, only Kisame. The silver haired man was in for a treat. 

“Hey asshole.” Hidan said. “Late again.” 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. “You could’ve let yourself in. Where’s your key?” 

“Left it at home or something.” Hidan shrugged. “I swear to Jashin I’ll find it. It’s some fuckin’ where. How come you ain’t tell me about the new kid?” 

“I see you’ve met Hidan.” Kisame said to the young black kid. He was sucking on a sucker, which Kisame told him he can’t do while working behind the counter. “I’m sorry for his rudeness, and I forgot to mention him because he just started two days ago.” 

“You know Friday mornings are our busiest days?” Hidan asked. “And you couldn’t even give me Darui or Samui?” 

“Deal with it.” Kisame said. “I’ve trained Omoi myself. He’s very capable.” Kisame opened the door and they all poured inside, trying to quickly get ready to open the store in less than sixty seconds. 

“No offense kid.” Hidan siad. “But follow my lead. It’ll be hell this morning.” 

“Okay.” Omoi said. “I don’t work so well under pressure. People tell me that sometimes.” 

“Well.” Hidan said. “Today you become a man.” 

~~~~

The lunch rush had died, and so did Omoi. Kisame felt terrible for pairing him with Hidan. The silver haired called the blond everything but a child of god. This was Kisame's fault, but he had no one else to work this morning. 

Kisame and Hidan were both washing their hands in the sink when Kisame nudged him. “You need to apologize.” Kisame said. “We might lose another worker cuz your mouth.” 

“You saw him?” Hidan growled. “You saw the way he just refused to do anything. He was overthinking everything. He was scared anytime the fish went over a pound on the scale or when it went under the-” 

“He cares.” Kisame said. “Is that a bad thing?” 

“Where are you finding these people?” 

“Apologize.” Kisame commanded. 

“Fine, but I’m not gonna like it.” Hidan sighed walking over the younger boy, who had shoved a sucker in his mouth, nervously. “Listen, Omoi. I’m sorry about what I said to you. But I told you to follow my lead, and when you didn’t it pissed me off.” 

“I’m sorry.” Omoi said. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.” 

“No. Don’t apologize to me, asshole.” Hidan said. “This is my fault. I was the jerk, not you. You’re new, but you gotta know that nobody cares if it’s over a pound it’ll be fine. As long as it’s not too far over-” 

“But what is too much?” Omoi asked. “What if they yell at me about going over? What if they wanted me to go under rather than over? What if-” 

“Alright!” Kisame interrupted. “Who wants some grilled salmon and potatoes for lunch. I’ll make it.” 

Both men nodded and Hidan made a face at Kisame that said _“I am going to kill him.”_

~~~

Okane, Kakuzu’s bar wasn’t crowded. Only very distinguished people who made six figures or more seemed to be welcomed in. Kisame knew that the neighborhood drunk would never be allowed ten feet from the door. 

Everyone was dressed up, and there wasn’t a pair of jeans in sight, save for Kisame. The taller man looked out of place in a pair of black jeans and a blue polo. He felt like he was way too underdressed for such an event. 

Kakuzu did say this bar was for the wealthy. He said he wanted to make an upscale bar so he can overcharge people on drinks and blame it on the atmosphere. Truly the man was a piece of work, but wasn’t any great businessman.

“Brother Hosgigaki.” Kakuzu walked up to him and gave him their fraternity Isobu’s secret (not really so secret) handshake. “Long time no see. Where’s your drink?” 

“A cranberry soda’s twenty-five dollars man.” 

“It’s fine cranberry juice shipped from the appalachian mountains.” 

“People believe that shit?” 

“Yeah.” They both erupted in laughter. “I don’t even know if they grow apples up there.”

“I see some things never change.” Ever since college Kakuzu was obsessed with money. He was the fraternities’ treasure, and he kept a tight lock on that box. He was the reason they were able to take a trip to Paris. They had to stay in hostels of course. 

“Hidan told me you hired some annoying blond kid at your restaurant?” 

“It’s a fish shop.” Kisame corrected him. “And Hidan was about to slaughter the poor boy.” 

“You know how he is.” Kakuzu shrugged. “He’s been like that since I’ve known him.” 

“And you still married him?” Kisame asked. 

“You hired him.” 

“This is true.” Kakuzu has met Hidan at Kisame shop, and become very interested in the pink eyed man. Maybe it was because no one had ever spoken to Kakuzu like that or Hidan’s fuck the man atttude, but him and Kakuzu hit it off fine. 

“Did you bring a special friend?” Kakuzu asked. 

“No.” Kisame chuckled. “You said no dogs allowed.” 

“You still got that mutt.” Kakuzu sighed. “You know how I feel about dogs. They shit everywhere.” 

“He’s a good boy.” Kisame said. “He’s been potty trained.” 

“Yeah. _Good boy my ass_. He bit me the last time I was there.” 

“I told you not to take the bone out of his mouth.” Kisame said. 

“Asshole, come here.” Kakuzu’s husband Hidan shouted at him from across the room. “Konan and Pein are here.”

“Oh my biggest investors are here.” Kakuzu straightened his clothes out. 

“Investors?” 

“Yeah. I’m trying to turn this bar into a monopoly.” Kakuzu said. “Soon they’ll be a fuckin’ Okane in every city across this country.” 

“This one just opened today.” Kisame said. “Don’t you think you’re moving a little fast?” 

“Not fast enough Kisame.” Kakuzu said. “Rich men don’t sleep till they’re rich.” And with that he was off to go speak with his investors. 

The next hour or so Kisame wandered through the bar, which was pretty nice. It wasn’t like one of those cheap dive bars, everything was far enough apart to walk through. There was a small dance floor, but it was clear this wasn’t a club to dance. This was a place to hold meetings or to meet your mistress. 

Kisame ran into a couple of his former fraternity brothers, who had been up to great things as well. Most of them had gotten married and had one or two kids. They seemed happy. Kisame was happy for them, but there was always this look of confusion on their face when they asked was he married? Did he at least have a fiance? No. He did not. He had a dog who loved him and a successful seafood shop where he made decent money, but the look they gave him said that wasn’t enough. 

“I’m sure you’ll meet someone.” They said. 

Kisame would offer them a smile and an awkward, “Yeah. But I’m content with my life right now.”

Kisame didn’t know if he was unhappy because he hadn’t had the chance to think about love. He spent most of his days working so much that he never had given love a second thought. Of course he had sexual urges which he filled by browsing porn websites and the occasional hook up, but that was enough for him right now. 

Kisame found himself at the bar with a tequila sunrise. Kisame and clear liquor never quite got along, but when it was chased with orange juice miraculously they were the best of friends. 

“Is this seat taken?” Kisame looked up from his drink to find a man who was around his age. He was a slender man, with long black hair that was tied back into a ponytail. He had on a black and white striped button up shirt, that was neatly tucked into his pants. His pants stopped at his ankles, and he had on a pair of loafers. 

“No. I don’t believe it is?” 

“Thanks.” He took a seat next to him, and called the bartender over. “May I have a cranberry vodka on the rocks?” The bartender responded with a nod, and was off to make hsi drink.

“That’s a simple drink.” 

“A simple drink for a simple man.” He said, not bothering to give Kisame a glance. “It’s my go to drink.” 

“You know you can tell a lot about someone from the drink they order.” Kisame smiled. 

“Oh can you?” The raven asked. 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. 

“Alright.” He turned to look at him, his onyx eyes staring right into Kisame’s brown ones. “What does mine say about me?” 

“Well your outfit says you keep a very low profile, but you know you’re attractive.” Kisame said. “But your drink...Your drink says you’re smart, witty, confident, and know how to hold a conversation. You don’t follow trends. You know what works for you, and you aren’t afraid to say so. A straightforward man. I like that.” 

The raven smiled, and the bartender returned with his drink. “What do you think about the old guy over there?” The raven gestured to the man across the bar, who was slurping away on a pink fruity concoction.

“Oh well he’s obviously gay.” Kisame chuckled. “I hope his wife knows.” They both let out a hardy laugh. 

“You’re drinking a tequila sunrise.” The other man looked at him, his black eyes popping with excitement. “What does that say about you?” 

“Nothing.” Kisame said. “This isn’t my go to. I thought I’d step out of my comfort zone.” 

“What’s your go to?” 

“A whiskey, with a little tea.” Kisame. “Really calms the soul. And what you should know about me from that drink is that I’m pretty much an old soul because I like tea. Also that I’m a stand up guy. Have one dog and love long walks on the beach.” 

“Long walks on the beach?” The raven rolled his beautiful sparkly eyes. 

“Hey. Hey. Hey. I’m here to cultivate a fantasy.”

“Cultivate fantasy?” 

“Isn’t that what you want?” 

“No. I want something real.” 

“Awe there’s that cranberry vodka talking.” Kisame chuckled, and so did the raven. When he smiled Kisame almost fell out of his seat. Never in his years of living did he get upset when someone stopped smiling. 

“Here alone?” 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. “My fraternity brother opened up this place and we’re pretty close. Gotta come support. You?” 

“No. I got dragged by my cousin Shisui.”

“You know the Shisui Uchiha?” 

“I take it you know my cousin.” 

“Yeah. No one can party like Shisui Uchiha. No one can dance like Shisui Uchiha.” Kisame laughed. “Man the guy was truly the life of any party. He was an honorary Isobu.” 

“Yeah. I heard he had some great times at Columbia?”

“Well you get to go to Columbia one time.” Kisame chuckled. “You might as well tear up the entire world. If you’re Shisui’s cousin where did you go to school?” 

“Harvard.” The raven shrugged off the name like it was nothing. “I don’t like to name drop it. I usually just tell people I went to USC so they’ll leave me alone about it.” 

“I mean you went to Harvard?” 

“You went to Columbia.” 

“And I tell people anytime I can.” Kisame chuckled. “I throw it into any conversation. _As a Columbia graduate…._ It’s a great conversation starter.” 

The Raven’s smile returned. “I bet.” 

“You have a beautiful smile.” 

“Thanks.” The raven turned an odd shade of red that made him more adorable, as if that were possible. 

“I’m actually enjoying your company.” Kisame said. 

“You’re alright yourself.” 

“Ha.” Kisame chuckled. 

With that The Raven’s phone rang and he quickly picked it up. After a quick succession of “yeah’s” and “okays” he turned to look at the taller man, the sparkle fading from his eyes. After he hung up the phone, “I gotta go. It’s a family thing--” 

“No need to explain.” Kisame said. 

“It was nice talking to you.” The onyx eyes man gathered his things up quickly and headed off before Kisame could get another word in. 

It was after he was gone for a moment and the beauty of their conversation began to fade that Kisame remembered that he hadn’t asked the man his name. 


	2. Good one. Gaslighting for the win. “Yeah.” Kisame said. “Just come by tonight and I’ll hook you up with the best fish, fries and hush puppies you’ve ever tasted.”

A mild fit of irritation passed over Itachi as he stood at his father’s hospital bedside. What was a _dire family emergency_ actually was some _minor accident_ involving his father breaking his arm after a bike crash. He and his mother were riding one of those tandem, two people, bikes and his father lost control and then went tumbling down a hill into a tree. 

“I told you that bikes should not be made for two people.” Mikoto said, as she paced the room. She only had minor cuts, most of which barely pierced the skin. “You’re way too old to be breaking bones Fugaku.” 

“I know. I know.” Fugaku said, half heartedly agreeing with his wife in hopes that she would stop talking.

“I didn’t find the whole soiree to be romantic.” She now directed her speech at Itachi. “I think it’s silly, and the man who sold it to us was some hippy guy that looked like he hadn’t showered in two weeks. I knew this was a bad idea. But you know your father. The man is full of pride. I mean it’s a deadly sin for a reason?” 

Itachi nodded. He was annoyed because he was having such a good time at the bar with the guy whose name Itachi didn’t remember. Itachi couldn’t exactly recall if he’d gotten the charming stranger's name. It’s not everyday you meet someone with a great smile and a great pair of arms. Therefore forgive Itachi if he was caught up in the magic of the moment. 

“I swear those bikes weren’t functioning properly. The chain was rattling away.” She said. “I bet he doesn’t even take time to do maintenance on them. We should sue.” 

“You probably wouldn’t get much money out of them.” Itachi said.

“It’s not about the money; it’s about the principal.” She said. “I’m sorry to call you out of your home on such short notice. I know it’s just you and your cat so I figured you weren’t doing much. Your father and I also need a ride home when all this is set and done.” 

“Where’s Sasuke?” Itachi asked. 

“Oh he’s on his way.” She said. “He and Naruto were out picking furniture for their new place. I tell ya it’s a small apartment on the upper east side, with a view that’ll knock you right out your sneakers. It's a two bed room and there’s a walk-in closet. There’s even space for their cat, and they have a door man. It’s absolutely adorable.” Susuke also had a cat (a boy) named Amaterasu, and his parents had two (one girl and one boy) named Izunami and Izunagi. 

“I haven’t been invited over yet.” Itachi shrugged. Sasuke probably didn’t invite their mother over either. She has a way of just bombarding in on their lives. 

“I just think their relationship is so adorable.” Mikoto said. “They’re the ones that told us about this whole bike thing. Naruto was trying to do it for Sauske, but you know you brother, doesn’t like anything fun. So they suggested we take their tickets, and now look at us. Maybe we all could learn a thing or two from Sasuke?”

“How have you been, son?” Fugaku asked Itachi from the bed. It had been a little over a month since he’d last seen them in person. They’d recently learned to facetime and called him _about_ two weeks ago. 

“Fine. Better than you.” Itachi gestured to his arm in the cast.

“Yeah.” Fugaku looked down at his arm. “They say it's gonna take three or four weeks to heal.” 

“And in that time you’ll work from home.” Mikoto said. “I don’t want you over doing it.” 

“I can’t go into the office?” Fugaku said. 

“C’mon you know you over do it.” Mikoto said. “Just enjoy life. We all could enjoy being away from work for a while. That’s all we do is work, work, work. Spend time with cats.” 

“The cats?” 

Although Itachi got sick of his parents quickly, it was always such a treat to watch them go at it. Fugaku, although he looked very intimidating, was pudding in his mother’s hands. She always got her way in the end. But there was always a love there that Itachi admired. They loved, respected, and cherished each other, even if they bickered about the small things in life.

“The cats will be fine.” Fugaku said. “You know there’s this study I read somewhere that said you just leave a cat with enough food and water and it’ll survive a week. They’re clever that way.” 

“You’re staying at home.” She said. “I don’t want to see you at the office for at least the next week.” Fugaku and Mikoto ran a company that specialized in making hair products from all natural products. They hadn’t taken it so well when Sasuke and Itachi said they didn’t want to take over the family business, but they eventually understood. 

“Fine.” Fugaku said. “One week.” 

“Hows Shisui?” Mikoto asked, not missing a beat.

“He’s doing well. _Actually, I was at the opening of this bar with him_ .” Itachi said the last part with a lot of emphasis. _See mom I’m doing something with myself._

“Nice to see you boys are getting out.” Mikoto said. “So did you meet any _special people?”_

“No. Not on my top list of priorities right now.” Itachi tried to close that door before she opened it. 

“Well you’re only as young as your last birthday.” Mikoto said. “Look at Sasuke. Engaged. Five years younger than you and someone wanted to marry him.” 

“I know.” Itachi rolled his eyes, and he sounded eerily like his father. “I know.” 

“You know I met your mother when I was fifteen. And we got married when we were twenty-two.” Fugaku said. “Fresh out of college.” 

“There weren’t any other options then.” Itachi muttered. 

“Lies.” Mikoto said. “I had plenty of options. I didn’t grow up in some small rural town where the only choices were the town idiot or my cousin. I had _plenty_ of potential suitors.” 

“Your father had options as well.” Fugaku added.

“But we love each other very very much. Young, dumb, and in love.” Mikoto said. “And I want that for you. You’re thirty. I mean you’re not getting any younger.”

Itachi thanked the universe as his brother and Naruto walked in before he would have to respond to his mother. Although Itachi loved her very much, she could be a pain. 

“Itachi.” Sasuke said as he walked in. 

Naruto, on the other hand, was all hello and pleasantries. He even bought Mikoto some Kit-Kats, her favorite. 

“You shouldn't have.” She said, giving him a hug. “Sasuke never let him go.” It could be said Mikoto adored Naruto, but that would be an understatement. 

“I’m trying.” Sasuke groaned looking over at Itachi. “So what’s been up with you?” 

“Nothing new since the last time we spoke.” Itachi said. He had made it a priority to call Sasuke every couple of days and things went alright when his brother would answer. 

“I heard you’re up for a promotion at your job?” 

“A promotion?” Mikoto turned to Itachi with a smile. 

“That’s my boy!” Fugaku said from the bed. 

“Oh my god.” Mikoto said. “How come you didn’t tell us sweetie? What’s the position?” 

“It’s the head of the archival department.” Itachi said. “There’s some stiff competition.” 

“You went to Harvard.” Fugaku said. “No one can beat a Harvard man.” Everyone in their immediate family went to Harvard. 

“The other guy went to Yale, and he’s very passionate about this position.” Itachi said. “It’s no big deal. No need to be excited about something that hasn’t happened yet.” 

“ _Yale._ ” The name rolled off Mikoto’s tongue with mallace. His family despised Yale. They said “if you don’t get into Harvard, don’t you dare apply to Yale.” 

“That’s not what Shisui said.” Sasuke chirped. “He said you sure as hell got the position on lock, his words not mine, because the other guy is an idiot.” 

“Not true.” Itachi said. “He’s smart.” Deidara was actually a very bright man, but he was dangerously careless. He would not be the best fit to manage an entire department, but Itachi didn’t think he’d do any better honestly. Also he was content where he was on the totem pole. No need to try climbing it. “When did Shisui tell you this?” 

“We have a snapchat streak, and he storta mentioned it in today's streak.” Itachi made a mental note to give Shisui a swift kick in the butt next time he saw him. He did not need his family knowing he had a promotion. They’d hound him until he got the position.

“I think you got this Itachi.” Naruto said. “You’re the smartest person I know.” 

“The smartest you know?” Sasuke asked, a hint of bark in his voice. 

“Second smartest.” 

“Thank you, Naruto.” Itachi rolled his eyes. “Thank you so much.”

\-----

Last night had sent Kisame into a frenzy. Who was that? What was his name? This haunted him in his sleep, on his drive to work, while he worked, and even now as he closed the shop. He had hoped by mistake the raven stranger would walk in with a smile on his face and say “Strange meeting you here?” or some other corney line that he saw in one of those chick flicks. But, alas, no such thing happened.

“Been a little out of it today, Kisame.” Darui, another one of Kisame’s employees said. He had been working for Kisame for a little over three years while he was in college. Kisame liked the kid very much. It didn’t hurt that he also was attending Kisame’s alma mater, Columbia University, and just pledged to his same fraternity. 

“Yeah man.” Kisame said. “It’s-It’s been a weird one.” 

“Everything alright?” He asked, actual concern in his voice. 

“Yeah. I’ve just been thinking about something.” Kisame siad. “Nothing important.” He honestly didn’t want to tell him and sound stupid. _I can’t think straight because I’ve been thinking about this raven haired guy whose mouth I want to suck on until he sucks the life right out of me. And I was stupid enough to not even ask his name. I’m literally the worst flirt ever._

“Well whatever it is,” Darui said as he put on his coat. “I hope it works out for ya?” 

“Hey.” Kisame decided to throw all the caution to the wind at the moment. “How do you kids…I mean let’s say you like someone you met at the bar. You have a great convo, but you’re an idiot because you didn't ask for their name?” 

“Did you meet someone at a bar and not ask for their name?” 

“Yes.” Kisame said. 

“Oh man!” The blond haired boy face palmed. “Shit. Well what do you want me to help you with?” 

“Well, I mean, you know your generation so tech savvy-” 

“So is yours, you’re only thirty.” 

“Yeah, but I barely get on facebook and twitter isn’t really my thing.” Kisame said. “So I was gonna ask you to help me find him there?” 

“Do you know that they’re are almost a million people in this city?” He said. “He could be anyone? Do you have any personal information that could reasonably help your case?” 

Kisame scratched his head, very confused. “He’s an Uchiha, I think. He said he was Shisui’s cousin.” 

“Do you know Shisui?” 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. “I went to school with him.” 

Darui dropped his bag and motioned for Kisame to sit down. He quickly pulled out his laptop and had Kisame log into his Facebook. After five unsuccessful tries (Kisame was awful at remembering his password) he then tried a combination of Samehada and his old jersey number from highschool football. It worked. 

The blond boy quickly searched through Kisame's friends list and found Shisui. The only problem was that he was friends with like 60 other Uchiha’s. “God this is a lot of people?” Kisame sighed. 

“No. It’s not terrible.” Darui said. “We can eliminate all the old people and women. So that leaves us with about fifteen matches.” 

Kisame sighed, as they scrolled through all of them and didn’t one match the person Kisame saw last night except the last one. “He looks eerily similar.” 

“Is this him.” 

“No. I don’t know. I mean he had lines on his face, but those could’ve been because he didn’t get enough sleep. I don’t know.” Kisame said. “This could also be an old picture. _Sasuke Uchiha._ ” The name felt odd coming out of Kisame’s mouth, but it could’ve been because he didn’t see that name often. 

They quickly started searching through Sasuke’s page and found out that he was engaged. “It says here he’s engaged to Naruto Uzumaki.” 

“There wasn't a ring on his finger.” Kisame said. “I would’ve noticed something like that.” 

“He could’ve taken it off.” The blond shrugged. “They have some cute pics on here.” They began looking through the pics, and most of them were silly pics of Sasuke and this Naruto kid. Naruto was always smiling, but the Uchiha never looked pleased to be in any of the pictures, except one where there were two of them on the beach. Sasuke’s face was lit up. It was clear that he was in love with Naruto. 

“I don’t know. Like he’s giving off similar energy but this isn’t him.” Kisame said. “Like his hair was longer, and his eyes were so alive. His eyes are dead. I mean this guy had an energy to him. He was buzzing and bumbling with magic.” 

“I mean he could’ve grown his hair out and started seeing a therapist?” Darui looked at Kisame like he’d lost his last nut.

“True.” Kisame said, as they clicked on the next picture. “Wait!” Kisame nearly fell out of his chair as he saw the boy known as Sasuke standing with another guy who was a little taller, and looked like the guy he saw last night. “That’s him!” 

“Wow. He’s cute.” Darui said. “Does he have a brother who’s not engaged?” 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. He knew that smile anywhere. “I knew that other guy wasn’t him! I told you there was something off about him!” 

“Calm down, sheesh.” Darui quickly looked through the comments, and he saw one from a Mikoto Uchiha. “Mikoto writes ‘my lovely boys Itachi and Sasuke. You guys have grown up so fast. Mommy loves you. Hashtag good-genes, hashtag mothers-love-to-the-rescue, and hashtag they-got-it-from-their-momma.” 

“They’re mother seems like the overbearing type?” 

“Definitely.” Darui said. “My mom is blocked on facebook.” 

“Why?” 

“Let’s just say I post stuff she wouldn’t agree with.” Darui chuckled to himself. 

“Well this is great.” Kisame said. “I know his name is Itachi Uchiha.” 

“Yeah.” Darui said, typing away. “Found a profile page on Linkedin. It says he works for the public library.”

“Wow the internet is just so awesome man.” Kisame laughed to himself. 

“Yeah. You should try it out sometimes.” Darui said. “I mean seriously you’re not that old man.” 

\----

Kisame had one of two choices as he looked over the library building: He could go home and pretend nothing ever happened or he could march in there and demand Itachi’s hand in marriage. He had waited a full two days for this. The first because the library was closed when he found out where Itachi worked and the second because Hidan called off yesterday, so Kisame was forced to cover his shift. That silver haired man was lucky Kisame didn’t have another assistant manager or he’d surely send him straight to the unemployment office. 

_You got this Kisame. Just go in and work your charm. Smile. Be sexy._

_Ha. Ha._ Kisame checked his breath, and when he was greeted with the winter mint smell, he decided to throw all his faith into the universe. He quickly walked up the stairs and into the library. Darui had mentioned he worked in the archival department, which was responsible for preserving artifacts. 

The section was just as Kisame thought it would be, boring. He had no interest in copies from the first folios of Shakespeare or vintage copies of _To the Lighthouse_ by some woman named Virginia Woolf. Kisame hated english, but if Itachi liked it he must pretend to be into it. So he sparknoted a couple of titles to have something to talk about. 

After ten minutes pretending to be interested in old copies of books, he finally caught a break. A familiar face was walking through the department, looking at various artifacts. 

“Shisui.” Kisame said. 

The midnight haired man turned to him with one of those signature grins of his. “Kisame!” His eyes sparkled, with every flutter danced the memories of their college antics. “Man it’s been...it’s been…” 

“Years.” Kisame said. “I didn’t even know you work here. Pleasant surprise.” 

“Yeah.” Shisui chuckled. “It’s an odd job for me, but I like it. You know I was a history buff?” 

“No.” Kisame laughed. “The only history I thought interested you was aged wine.” 

“Hey that too, but throw in a copy of _The Tempest_ , and man it’s a party.” Shisui said. “Man, what have you been up to? I heard you opened a small shop on the other side of town?” 

“Yeah. Yeah.” Kisame said. “It’s a small place. Lovely. The local paper called it quaint.” 

“Quaint?” 

“I don’t know what that means, but it brought in the old ladies.” Kisame chuckled. “It's amazing to think people still read the newspaper? We were named best fried catfish in the city.” 

“Catfish?” Shisui asked, surprised. “Wow, I haven’t had your fried catfish in years.” Kisame would often make seafood for his friends. One time he fed the entire frat house with five cans of sardines, half a loaf of bread, and one bag of frozen corn

“Come by sometime and I’ll hook you up.”

“Really? That’ll be awesome.” Shisui said. “Me and my cousin are super tired of the sandwich shop down the street.” 

“You have a cousin?” Kisame asked, pretending he didn’t know. 

“Yeah.” Shisui said. “We work together. He’s not as fun as me though.” 

“Really?” Kisame's eyes widened. He wanted to know everything about Itachi. He didn’t care if Shisui told him what kind of toilet paper Itachi prefered. 

“Yeah. He’s boring.” Shisui said. “He’d kill me for saying this, but he spends way too much time with his cat.” 

_So he’s a cat person. Hope he likes dogs._ “I mean hey who doesn’t like a night in?” 

“Yeah, but not like every night.” Shisui said. “You gotta unleash the beast sometimes, you know. I mean at Columbia we tore up the city day and night. I don’t even know how I got to class the next day.” 

“True. Well...um what if you and Itachi came by tonight after work?” Kisame asked. 

“Sure.” Shisui said. “Wait how did you know my cousin’s name?” 

_Think quick Kisame._ “You told me.” 

“I did?” Shisui inquired. “I guess I did. I just talk so much, heh.” 

_Good one. Gaslighting for the win._ “Yeah.” Kisame said. “Just come by tonight and I’ll hook you up with the best fish, fries and hush puppies you’ve ever tasted.” 

“Alright.” 

\----

Shisui insisted Itachi come to this small dinner called Hoshigaki’s on the other side of town. Something about “They have the best catfish in town.” Between the party, his father’s injury, and the competition with Deidara Itachi was worn thin. He’d rather be at home inches deep into Orlando, a book he was re-reading for the fifth time. It was a classic for a reason.

The shop was very small, and very lowkey. It could be missed easily by the taller buildings that surround it. The sign on the place was a sea blue, which contrasted to the deep grays and blacks that coated the building. The door was white, and nothing special. It was an odd place.

When they pushed the door open, Itachi was greeted by the smell of the ocean. Inside the place beamed with energy. Gone was the aurora and coldness of the city and inside was like being by the sea. There was a salmon and white checked floor that ran into the stand where the fish was tucked away in glass cases.

“Does he burn incense in this place?” Shisui asked. “It smells good.” 

“It does.” While Itachi would rather be at home, he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity for a free meal after a long day at work. And he’d never eaten catfish before. 

“We’re closed.” A silver haired man came from the back, with an annoyed look on his face. 

“Oh really?” Shisui put his hands up to show he meant no harm. 

“Yeah. We close at six. Forgot to lock that Jashined damned door.” 

“Kisame invited us here after work for some fried catfish.” 

“Oh, so you’re the _special guest_ Kisame was talking about.” The silver haired man rubbed his temples, annoyed. “He should be here in about five or ten mintues. He’s always late for everything.” 

“Classic Kisame.” Shisui chuckled.

Just then the door opened, and the man standing there sent Itachi’s heart into a frenzy. _It couldn’t be. Am I dreaming? The_ man that rushed in was the same stranger from the bar last night. He had traded in the polo for a white t-shirt and blue jeans. He was a rugged looking man, but that was part of his appeal. He looked like he spent his days working on cars instead of reading novels. 

“Hey.” He gave Itachi a knowing look, that made Itachi’s pulse quicken. A small sweat began to slide down his back. 

Itachi hoped to god he didn’t mention the bar. Not that he was embarrassed about it, but he’d rather not let his cousin know he enjoyed himself that much. He might invite him out again. “Hello.” 

Kisame walked over. “So you must be Itachi, Shisui’s cousin.” 

“Yes.” Itachi said. “You must be the late great Kisame.” 

“Here to serve.” Kisame chuckled. “Take a seat over there” He pointed to a line of four booths, which seemed to only be there for people who wanted to sit and eat. 

“I already started the fish.” Hidan said. 

“Thanks Hidan. You can go for the night.” Kisame turned to them. “Take a seat, and I’ll be with you.” He walked to the back to finish the fish. 

Dinner was awkward. He and Kisame had spent most of it pretending they’d never met before, and Shisui had no clue. The other Uchiha was pretty dense. They’d give each other small glances that said “I’m happy to see you again,” and small moments of mutual glances that exploded and settled in the universe around them. 

It was truly magical the way Kisame would look Itachi over. It may sound cliche, but the raven felt like for a moment he might have been the only man in the world. There was nothing Itachi needed to say because they said it all with their eyes. There was lust of course, but that soon subsided and then came longing and then came a drop of mutual satisfaction that they were sharing the same space again. It was weird. Itachi had never felt more drawn to a person. Maybe it was the spiky blue hair or the way those boot cuts hugged his glutes? 

Or maybe it was the silence? The longing to say one word to each other, but Shisui hung near by filling the silence with compliments about the food. “Man this is amazing.” He said through bites of food. “Well seasoned and the hush puppies, excellent.” 

“Thanks.” Kisame said. “I’m glad you like it.” 

“Itachi do you like it?” Shisui asked. 

“Yes.” Itachi said. “Very good.” The food was very good, and the fact that Kisame made it just put the icing on Itachi’s non-existent cake.

“I see you’ve both eaten every last bite.” 

Itachi looked down at his empty plate, and blushed. All that remained were the bones from the fish. 

“Who could blame us?” Shisui asked. “This really hit the spot Kisame. I’m gonna have to come back.” 

“You’ll pay me next time?” Kisame asked, jokingly. 

“Of course.” Shisui said. “It was so good I could kiss you.” He laughed. “I’ve never seen Itachi clean a plate like that before.” 

“Hn.” Itachi muttered. 

“Seriously you ate every bite.” Shisui poked at his cousin, which made Itachi uncomfortable. He didn’t need to be teased in front of his crush. “I’m surprised you didn’t lick it all up.” 

Kisame and Shisui chuckled together. 

“Do you have a restroom, man?” Shisui asked. “My bladder is ready to explode.” 

“Behind the counter, and through the back room on the left.” Kisame said, and then Shisui followed his orders. When the other Uchiha was gone, instantly Kisame spoke with a surge of urgency. “I’m so happy to see you again.” 

“Same here.” Itachi whispered. “You know, I felt bad because I didn’t remember your name.” 

“No. No. No. I never asked for your name and you never go mine.” Kisame said. 

“So it’s like a freak accident that we even ended up here together?” Itachi asked. 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. “It must be like fate or something.” 

Itachi smiled, and looked deep into the eyes of the man across from him. It felt like a good ten minutes, but it was only seconds. Time just disappeared when looking at Kisame. They were jolted from their staring contest when the toilet flushed. 

“May I see you again?” 

“Yes.” Itachi said. 

“Good.” Kisame slid him his card, and winked. 

Itachi turned red as he stuffed it in his wallet, quickly. Just then Shisui had returned. “Did you two hit it off?” 

“Yeah. We’re best friends.” 

“Good. His cat’s dying for some alone time.” Kisame and Shisui laughed. 

Itachi rolled his eyes, but inwardly he was grinning like Shisui. 


	3. “I can’t play all my cards on the first date. Why would you go out with me again if you knew everything?” Itachi gave Kisame a knowing smile.

Itachi never thought in a million years that Kisame was this type of person. A man who liked classical music? Itachi sat on a blanket very confused in the middle of Konoha park listening to operatic singers belt their little hearts out underscored by a world renowned orchestra. 

Kisame thought it was a good idea to take them to a picnic in the middle of the park and listen to this orchestra that was in town for _one night only._ What Kisame pictured as being a pretty awesome date, that Itachi would be impressed by, had turned into an awkward exchange of glances and sighs. Thus far they hadn’t said a single word to each other, and stared at the stage blankly. 

Kisame glanced at Itachi, and every now and again they’d meet glances and turn away quickly. A cold sweat slid down the blue haired man’s back as he watched the woman on stage begin to pick up her pacing. He fucked up with this date. 

“They’re pretty good.” Kisame said, pouring himself some of the champagne that sat between them to ease his anxiety. Another thing, besides this awful scenery, that annoyed Itachi was Kisame didn’t know how to properly drink wine. The bigger man just threw it back like it was water, not bothering to get a taste or feel for it. 

“Yeah.” Itachi offered Kisame an awkward smile, but on the inside he felt very off center. He didn’t know what to say to the man or how to crack a joke. When they bantered at the bar it felt more natural, but now Itachi felt the need to perform. To play the role of someone that Kisame might like. 

“You know, my mom was always into this sorta stuff.” Kisame said. “Her favorite singer was Mei Turmi.” Mei was a world renowned opera singer. Many critics called her the blessed soprano. 

“Really?” Itachi didn’t want to feign interest, but he couldn’t find a way into Kisame. Kisame would tell him things about his life, but Itachi would be too worried about how he would be perceived rather than just having a human response to what Kisame was saying. Being awkward was not fun. 

“Yes.” Kisame said. “I was never really a fan of it though.” 

“So why did you bring us here?” Itachi asked, an awkward laugh followed because the words left his mouth before he would stop them. 

“I don’t know.” Kisame shrugged. “I thought you might enjoy this sorta thing. You’re a bookworm.” 

“Yeah. But I like to listen to classical music in the car, not in person.” Itachi sighed. “And I mostly listen to podcasts anyways now.” 

“Nice. I have a couple dungeon and dragon podcasts I listen to.” 

“You participate in dungeons and dragons?” 

“Used to. Used to.” Kisame chuckled. “Not much time now a days, but I might have slayed a couple of beasts in my time.” 

Itachi smiled, Kisame was charming. “I mostly listen to the news and political commentary.” 

“What do you do to escape?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like let’s say the world’s getting too heavy and you can’t take it anymore so you need to get away for awhile, what do you do?” Kisame asked. 

“Well I read, but if that doesn’t help, I’d usually just turn on reality television.” 

“Itachi Uchiha, watches reality television?” Kisame laughed in disbelief. 

“When I spoil myself.” Itachi sighed. “It’s not a big deal. Sometimes it’s nice to watch something you can take at face value. You don’t have to look into the deeper meaning or a thematic purpose.” 

“Do you think we can take anything at face value though?” Kisame asked, while the orchestra began to swell. The woman onstage took it up an octave and the crowd perked up, save for Itachi and Kisame who were in their own world. 

“What do you mean?” Itachi looked at the blue haired man, puzzled. 

“Like...uh...do you think we can take what people say at face value.” Kisame said. 

“Personally I think it’s silly to believe everything people tell you, but I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they can’t be trusted anymore.” Itachi said. 

“I want to do that.” Kisame said. 

“Do what?” 

“Trust people.” Kisame said. “I like to think I do, but I know deep down, I don’t.” Kisame sighed to himself. He was telling his date on their first date that he was not trusting and emotionally withholding. That at least should’ve waited till date number seven. 

“Do you trust me?” Itachi asked. At this moment, his gut wanted Kisame to say yes. He wanted Kisame to say he was “one of a kind,” and “of course he thought he was trustworthy.” But they had just met. It would be silly of him to trust a stranger. 

“Do you trust me?” Itachi hated when people answered a question of importance with another question. 

“We just met.” Itachi retorted, not missing a beat.

“Exactly.” Kisame concluded. 

“But.” Itachi interjected. “I wouldn’t say I don’t trust you either. You hang out in a nether region in my mind. You’re neither good nor bad. More good, but I’m still getting to know you.” 

Kisame chuckled. “See we’re complicated.” When those words left his mouth, Itachi couldn’t help but agree. Being human was complicated. The small things irritated them, like Kisame not sipping the wine, and the small things made them smile like Kisame winking at him when he picked him up in his car and looked him over. 

Itachi was only wearing a pair of black slacks and a navy blue shirt with gold accents and Kisame looked at him like he’d seen heaven. Itachi should be the one in awe. Kisame in a pair of black tight slacks, white shirt, and plaid tie made him want to skip the date and take him up to his apartment and do unspeakable things. He hadn’t noticed it before, but Kisame had a nice butt. 

“We’re complicated, so how can we take anything at face value.” Kisame explained. “There’s always something underneath.” He took another gulp of champagne, and grabbed one of a panini’s from the picnic basket and began to chomp away at it. 

“Were you ever in love before?” Itachi asked, curious. 

“Love?” Kisame pondered on the thought. “I would say I don’t think so, but when I was there at that time, I might have said yes. So yes.” 

Itachi chuckled. “I don’t think people are that complicated. I think you are.” 

“Hey.” Kisame said through bites of panini. 

“I mean it’s simple. You were in love, but you always have to analyze everything.” Itachi said. “Somethings are simply what they are and nothing more. I think we as people struggle to accept reality as it is. We want something more, even though there might not be anything there.” 

“I’ll table that and get back to you on that.” Kisame said. “What about you, sir? You’ve ever been in love.” 

Itachi smiled, secretively. “Um. Yes.” 

“What was that like?” 

“It was good until it wasn’t.” Itachi said. He’d only ever loved one person, and when they didn’t love him back he just threw the idea of love away. It became a huge waste of time. Why put your all in someone if they weren’t going to return it at least the same level of effort you’re putting in. “What about you?” 

“Fun. Sexy. imaginative.” 

“Imaginative.” 

“I don’t know.” Kisame laughed at himself. “It just seemed like the right word for it, you know.” 

“You speak in riddles, you know that?” Itachi pointed out his observation matter a factly. 

“Hey I’m just trying to create an aura of mystery.” Kisame chuckled. “I can’t play all my cards on the first date. Why would you go out with me again if you knew everything?” 

“Maybe then I might feel something authentic.” Itachi said.

“Authentic?” Kisame questioned. 

“Yeah.” Itachi said. “Sharing yourself with someone as intimate as it is, is beautiful and exciting. It’s the reason why we waste our time looking for human companionship.” 

“That and being the only one not married really fuckin’ sucks.” Kisame laughed. “Pardon my French.”

Itachi nodded letting him know he didn’t mind the cursing. 

Kisame was the only one in his entire group of friends that hadn’t found someone to spend the rest of his life with. Thinking about it the last couple of days actually made Kisame feel a little unfulfilled, like he was missing out on something. Maybe he didn't need to be married per se, but he needed someone who understood him or was there for him. Samehada could only do so much after all. 

“My mother is gonna kill me if I don’t get married in the next two years.” Itachi and Kisame chuckled. 

“Is she overbearing?” 

“She is the definition of overbearing and she’s super nosey.” Itachi said. “I mean you can always opt out now.” 

“I like a challenge.” Kisame winked at Itachi. 

Itachi’s stomach turned just a little, and a deep heat warmed his thin frame. How could he allow this man to have that much power over him. Just a wink and Itachi wanted to tackle him on the ground and kiss him. Of course that would be awkward for all those around him, but who cared what they thought. 

“What’s your favorite color?” 

“What?” Itachi chuckled at the question. “We just were asking each other philosophical questions and now you want to know my favorite color?” 

“Yes.” Kisame said. “Sue me. I wanna know about you.” 

“It’s red.” Itachi said. “And yours I take is blue.” 

“How did you know?” Kisame feigned shock. “Was it my hair.” 

“Nah, just your disposition.” 

“Are you saying I have a blue disposition?” Kisame inquired. He was really enjoying talking to Itachi. He could speak to the Uchiha all night long if he had to, and do some other things to him all night long if it came to that. Just to see the other man smile was enough for Kisame. He needed nothing else. 

“I’m just saying you give off a blue aura.” 

“Alright. I’ll take it.” Kisame said, turning back to the orchestra. “God this is awful.” 

“It is.” Itachi said. “I’m really upset at you for bringing us here, but I guess I wasn’t doing anything else so I guess I’ll give you a pass this time. But next time, I’m planning the date.” 

“So there will be a next time.” 

“Maybe.” Itachi smiled. “No promises.” 

“I like promosies, though.” Kisame winked at him again. 

_That’s it._ Itachi thought as he scooted over and leaned his head against the bigger man's shoulder. 

Kisame shuddered at the feeling, a flash of warmth pulsating through his body. “You’re cute, you know that?” Kisame pointed out. “I think you gotta be an alien or something. No one way you’re human?” 

“How so?” 

“No way the gods created someone so adorable.” Kisame said. “Someone so smart, kind, insightful and interesting.” 

“You just met me.” Itachi said. “How do you know I’m those things?” Itachi took in a whiff of Kisame’s fresh linen citrus scent, and it sent a spark cascading down to the floor of his diaphragm. This feeling bounced off the floor and continued to vibrate through his body in a way that made Itachi feel like he was living in a dream. Like he was dreaming the whole thing. 

“Because. I have a knack for reading others.” Kisame said. “When I was younger I took karate, and they taught us the importance of reading your opponent.” 

“So I’m your opponent?” 

“I mean you could look at it that way.” Kisame laughed. Kisame couldn’t believe that the raven was nuzzling into his shoulder. He had to pee, but he held it because he didn’t want to move from this spot. It felt too good to end so abruptly.

“You get on my nerves.” Itachi smiled. The woman on stage was joined by a man and they began to sing a duet in italian. 

“Do you have any siblings?” Kisame, asked curious. He knew the answer from his research, but he wanted to hear everything from the horse's mouth. 

“Yes.” Itachi said. “One. A brother, Sasuke. He’s very dear to me. We’re five years apart. What about you?” 

“No.” Kisame said. “Only child. Spoiled.” 

“Really?” Itachi said. “That explains everything.” 

Kisame smiled. “Not really though. I grew up in the inner city and played lacrosse. That’s how I got into Columbia.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. Nothing too terrible.” Kisame said. “Nobody died. I just wasn’t a rich kid. I had a great childhood though. Mom was amazing and I had plenty of friends. What about you?” 

“I grew up here.” Itachi said. “I spent most of childhood studying and trying to get into a good college. I skipped the third grade.” 

“I flunked the third grade.” Kisame chuckled. 

“For every win, someone must fail.” Itachi offered. “It’s a time I forgot. It was like I woke up one day and then I was an adult, you know? Like had I really wasted my entire life until I turned twenty-two working to become a librarian?” 

“Hey. You work in the biggest museum in the country.” Kisame said. “And you went to Harvard. That’s something.” 

“Yeah.” Itachi said. “But I could’ve done it without all the effort I put in. I put in more work than I needed to and I missed out on life. While everyone was outside playing I was inside working on research papers.” 

“Do you regret it?” 

“No.” Itachi said. “I don’t regret it. But I wish I could’ve been more conscious that other things mattered too.” 

“Not too late to start on those other things.” Kisame smiled at him, and both their cheeks lit up. There was a moment of “are we gonna kiss?” that turned into nothing. They both looked away from each other, afraid to truly confront their inner feelings. 

“I would say let’s leave, but I’m kinda enjoying this.” Itachi said. 

“I knew you’d like it.” Kisame said, and all of a sudden Ksiame felt a sharp pain in his bladder. “Itachi?” 

“Yes?” 

“I have to go to the restroom.” 

(BREAK) 

In a world full of people who had no time, dating was always hard. Shisui embodied this. He spent most of his time working and if he wasn’t working he met up with Kakashi and the gang and they’d tear down a local bar. He’d never seemed to have time to find that special someone, but when he craved affection he was drawn to online dating. 

It was simple, quick, and easy. You could swipe left if you disliked them and swipe right if they of course looked al _right_ . He sometimes wondered _“What if you could swipe people in real life.”_ That would make everything easier. So he didn’t have to deal with people like Deidara.

So while he was out with Kakashi and Guy he was swiping left and right on many potential candidates. Maybe he might get someone to come to his place tonight for a little _tête-à-tête_ . But mostly Shisui was out of luck. The ones that he liked didn’t swipe him back and the ones he didn’t like probably were the ones that made up his over 100 likes. _Sigh._ The whole thing was one big drag. 

“Swiping again?” Kaksahi asked. 

“Mind your business.” Shisui sighed, as he swiped on another cute guy named Darui, but was greeted with no match. 

“Ha.” Guy laughed. “You should give up on that. It’s only for people who want to get laid. Nothing serious on there.” 

“Really?” Kakashi said. “I actually met my current partner on the same site.” 

“What?” Shisui asked. “You’re dating someone?” Kakashi, Guy, and Shisui were the three bachelors of the city. They’d go to the clubs, have a great time, might get a couple lap dances, but they don't fall in love. Who were his friends turning into?

“It just became serious yesterday.” Kakashi shrugged. 

“Yamato?” Guy looked at Kakashi like he’d been informed on this. 

“Wait!?” shisui sighed. “You knew about this?” 

“Yeah.” Guy said. “We went on a double date, with my new boyfriend, Genma. We met at one of those martial art tournaments. He was a kid on my team's uncle.” Guy ran a dojo. 

“When was I gonna be informed?” 

“You were.” Kakashi stated. “I told you about it last time we went out, but you were so drunk.” 

“I was.” Shisui said. “So what’s next for you both? Marriage?” 

“I’m thirty-three.” Guy said. “The power of youth keeps me young, but still it’s nice to have someone to come home to at night.” 

“Well, I’m appalled.” Shisui said, turning his attention back to his phone. “You’re both copping out on our fun. When are we gonna go out now that you’re having kids and settling down.” 

“I don’t want kids.” Kakashi said. “No one said anything about kids. We might get a dog though.” 

“You guys are so-” Shisui stopped in his tracks when he came across a familiar face on his screen. He could tell by the disinterested look in his hair, and the way his brown hair swung in an unique fashion around his face. That was Utakata, the rude barista, from Saiken. 

Looking through his pictures Shisui was surprised by how beautiful the guy was. He was twenty-four, and had nothing on his profile, but his pics were pretty nice. There was one of him on the beach smiling, and another of him in a cardigan outside, his hands awkwardly holding on to the straps of his book bag. Shisui smiled at them. He didn’t seem so mean on here. He seemed like someone you could talk to maybe grab a coffee with. So he swiped right, and to his surprise Utakata matched him. 

“Yes!” Shisui clinched his right fist excited. _Maybe I’m not ugly._

“You okay?” Kakashi asked, concerned about his friend. 

“I’m fine.” Shisui said. “Don’t think I’m letting you both off the hook for this.” 

He decided to message Utakata first. 

Shisui: Can you suggest a bank where I can make a deposit? 

(BREAK)

Walking through the garden eating dumplings and ice creams made Itachi happy, and if it made Itachi happy then it made Kisame ecstatic. Of course he would do anything to watch the smaller man smile. They’d been walking a path through Konoha park ever since the show ended and Kisame relieved himself. 

“Bram Stoker's Dracula is not supposed to be scary.” Itachi sighed. 

“Why not?” Kisame asked. “You make a book about Dracula; it should strike fear in it’s readers. Instead we got a novel full of letters. _My dearest Mina.”_

“It’s not about that.” Itachi rolled his eyes. “It’s about the unknown. That’s what’s scary about Dracula.” 

“I don't see it.” Kisame said. “I honestly couldn't even read it. I had to audio book the entire novel. Listened to it, while I ran. Then it took too long so I just sparknoted the rest of it.” 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“So you’re telling me, you read every novel your teachers told you to read?” Kisame asked. 

“Yes.” 

“The only one I could read was the great Gatsby and even that one was a bore most of the time.” Kisame sighed. “It’s like an author always picks the least interesting person and tells the story from their Point of view.” 

“It made sense to tell it from his perspective, because he represented the reader. He gave us an objective view of the events of the novel.” Itachi took a bite of his dumpling. 

“You’re probably right.” Kisame shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean anything. I’d rather see it from Gatsby’s POV.”

“I’m not gonna argue with someone who hasn’t read a full novel since he read _The Outsiders_ in junior high.” 

“Your point?” Kisame laughed. They strolled down the exquisitely lit path. Lights ran through the bushes in zig zag paths that looked very ugly by day, but at night they created a tunnel of amber that thrived under the solemnly lit sky. Kisame had to admit that tonight just seemed very different from any other night. He’d walked this path many times, and yet everything felt new. He saw things, like the red fire hydrant safely tucked between two bushes, and wondered if he had noticed that before?

“What would you say your three best qualities are?” Itachi asked, bringing his date's attention to him. Itachi actually had read this question in, _Make Out Paradise,_ one of those awful books written by Jiraiya. He was an author mostly known for sloppy smut writing that led nowhere. Itachi only read one of this book for this sexuality and literature class he took in college. Still some of it stuck with him. Maybe it wasn’t such a terrible book after all. 

“Three best?” Kisame pondered. “But there’s so many.” He winked at Itachi again, inciting another furry of violent red to spring to the raven’s cheeks. Kisame noticed this effect and purposely made sure to do it every five minutes. He loved seeing the other’s face light up. 

“Don’t be silly.” 

“I'm not. I’m not. Personally...uhhh...I think I’m extremely loyal, charismatic, not to toot my own horn, and I have a great sense of humor.” 

“I haven’t met charismatic Kisame.” Itachi chuckled. 

“Oh you’ll meet him soon enough,” Kisame clicked his tongue before he said, “tachi.” 

This caused Itachi to almost choke on his words. “What...wha..don’t call me that.” He spat trying to recover from the moment before. Itachi didn’t know whether to feel patronized or turned on. His face, a ripened tomato. 

“What?” Kisame said. “You don’t like it?” 

“I wouldn’t prefer it.” Itachi said. 

“So you like it a little bit?” Kisame gave Itachi one of his award-winning smiles. 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“So what about you?” Kisame looked at Itachi intently. “What would you say are your three best qualities?” 

“You tell me.” 

“No fair.” Kisame said. “You asked me and I answered, but I can’t know about you?” 

“I can’t play all my cards on the first date. Why would you go out with me again if you knew everything?” Itachi gave Kisame a knowing smile. 

Truthfully, he never really thought about three qualities about himself that he liked or that other people would like. He didn’t want to say something surface level, like branding about his intelligence because he knew he was intelligent so did anyone else. He wanted to connect with Kisame on a more personal level. He wanted to give Kisame what he deserved and that was something deeper. 

“I wish…” Kisame stared deep into Itachi eyes, losing himself in them and losing his words.

“What?” 

“I wish…” 

In that moment, Itachi could feel the heat radiating off Kisame’s face, a deep red streaming across their faces. And in an instant Kisame closed the space between their lips in a swift motion, pressing his lips against the raven. The first thing Itachi noticed was the warmth of the other man’s lips and the softness in his motions. 

Kisame tongue slid out of his mouth, licking the lips of the other making the raven sigh. Kisame used this as entry and their tongues engaged in a battle, neither one of the two giving up on victory. Itachi tilted his back, letting Kisame have his way, his tongue exploring every inch of Itachi’s mouth, leaving the other breathless. 

The blue haired man’s hands began to rush down the back side of the other, finding their place on Itachi’s ass. Kisame gave it a slight squeeze, earning a “ahhh…” from Itachi, and he kept going, wanting the other to know how long he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him when he picked him up, when he came to his restaurant, when he met him in that bar. 

Seconds turned into moments, and moments into minutes and Itachi and Kisame were still locked in a war of passion in the middle of the park. The Uchiha thanked god no one was watching, but if they were who cared. They were two people enjoying each other’s company. Nothing wrong with that. 

“You’re a good kisser.” Itachi said, breaking the kiss for a second before throwing himself back into it. 

“You’re eager, ‘tachi.” Kisame chuckled, giving Itachi’s ass another squeeze. 

“Stop calling me that.” Itachi gave Kisame a playful smack on his bottom. 

“You’re gonna pay for that.” Kisame said, grabbing Itachi’s face with his right hand and diving back into another passion filled kiss. 

(BREAK)

Shisui was sitting in his living room all alone. It turned out Kakashi and Guy didn’t want to get faded tonight. They wanted to return home to their partners and enjoy the life of being loved. Shisui did crave that sometimes, but sometimes he wondered if he only craved it because everyone told him he should. 

“Marriage is important.” His father had reiterated over and over. 

Still, Shisui found the last five years were amazing being alone and only having to answer to himself. But what if he could answer to someone else for a change? What if he came home to find someone waiting there. Some wanting to be there with him and share the same space with him? _That would be alright…_

Love was everywhere. It was propaganda. It was on TV, in magazines, at work, at home, even when you walked down the street and saw two stranger hands entangled as one.

“I’m bored.” Shisui said, sitting on his couch, sipping a full bodied red wine. He hadn’t found a soul that was willing to hook up with him tonight, so he was alone with the TV blaring in the background while he surfed Facebook. Everyone was announcing weddings or telling the world they were fucking someone new. “In a relationship.” That’s all Shisui saw. If he had a dime for everytime he saw that on his timeline, he’d be a wealthy man. 

**Buzz.**

Just then Shisui’s phone went off, and he looked at it. It was Utakata, messaging him back. 

Utakata: Why? 

Shisui chuckled to himself, before responding. Shisui: Because I’m saving all my love for you. 

Utkata: Lol! You tell all your tinder crushes this? 

Shisui: Just the pretty ones. 

Utakata: You’re too old for this. 

Shisui: Not old enough for you not to swipe right. 

Utakata: That is true. 

Shisui: Favorite color?

Utakata: Blue. You? 

Shisui: It’s you.

Utakata: Is that another pick up line? Because it doesn’t make sense. 

Shisui: I need a therapist because I’m losing my mind looking at you. 

Utakta: Alright now you’re venturing into creepy territory. LOL.

Shisui: LOL. But seriously. I’m Shisui. 

Utakata: Thanks for the introduction, but I can read your profile page. This isn’t Gridr. We don’t have random screen names. 

Shisui: You’re right. Silly me. 

Utakata: So what are you looking for? 

Shisui: Isn't’ that a grindr question? 

Utakata: Sorry. My bad. I meant that for the old man I’m talking to on grindr. 

Shisui: We’re six years apart.

Utakata: Calm down. 

Shisui: I will.

(BREAK) 

A rush of endless euphoria came over Itachi as he slipped into his home. Although he wanted Kisame to spend the night at his place he decided that it was best to take things a little slower. He’d never done anything like this before. He never felt like this before. 

He never felt like he couldn’t help but smile. So there he was feeding Susanoo, and just laughing to himself like an idiot. His mind replaying the funny things Kisame said, or thinking about that kiss they shared. 

“What a time to be alive.” Itachi murmured to himself. He decided to take another look at Jiraiya's novel, _Make Out Paradise_. Maybe it might help him come up with more questions? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love and reviews! I hope to have a new one up soon! Tell me what you thought!!! ;)


	4. “Kisame Hoshigaki. Always a slick one with the BTB.”

A sweet sentimentality coated Kisame’s life like a glazed donut over the past three weeks. Suddenly the mundane things about life seemed to excite him, only because it brought him closer to another date, another meeting, another moment to share with the raven. _Itachi._ Kisame reveled in the other man's name. The sweetest three syllables that were known to man. 

Itachi was perfection personified. A face that would even make Helen of Troy envious.

 _That smile._ Kisame couldn’t get it out of his head no matter how hard he’d tried, not that he wanted to. Those perfectly white molars showed no signs of abuse, considering how much sugar the Uchiha scoffed down. 

Itachi was the image of beauty. A northern star that Kisame would follow to the depth of hell and back. 

_Damn._ All these feelings and they’d only been on three dates. 

Three _perfect_ dates. He never had such a blatant connection with someone. Even the silence was filled with an abundance of sound. In three dates it seemed they had created their own language. They could communicate with a series of glances and just a flicker of their eyes. Kisame longed to do that again. To be surrounded by the beauty, grace, and intelligence of the Uchiha. 

“All that and you still haven’t hit it yet?” Darui looked at his older fraternity brother like he was crazy. Kisame was used to it. These last three weeks brought a myriad of gazes from his friends and coworkers, but he was smitten. _Hell I’m taken with him._

“It’s not about sex, man.” 

“I’m just saying, Kisame, you haven’t even slept with him, but you’re so enamoured with him…” 

“Yes.” Kisame said. “You never had that happen to you.” 

“No.” 

“Well it’s part of getting older.” Kisame said. “You get older and hell it just gets easier. You can see past all the things that never really mattered.” The older man actually hoped Darui would one day feel the way he currently did. He was invincible. 

“I’m not buying it.” Darui said. “Love is drab.” 

“Drab, but beautiful my friend. Beautiful indeed.” Kisame was on top of the world and no one could rain on his vibrantly audible parade. 

The lively high carried him all the way to Okane to meet his friend and fraternity brother Kakuzu for lunch. The man was so frugal, that it made sense that he would have Kisame meet him for lunch at his own restaurant. That way he wouldn’t have to pay for a meal or tip, killing two birds with one stone. 

When Kisame arrived, he noticed the change in atmosphere. During lunch time, Okane had transformed from the glossy upper echelon nightclub he'd seen before to a pretty business savvy establishment. The makeshift dance floor had been turned into a small meeting area, with a huge conference table. Many of the patrons looked older, probably wealthy, lounging around as if this were a country club of sorts. They all dressed the part, which was at odds with Kisame’s navy blue hanes T-shirt and dark blue jeans. He’d come straight from work after all. 

“Kisame. Looking shabby.” Kakuzu retorted as he approached the table, which was tucked away in the back of the restaurant. It was the perfect place for an owner to sit if they wanted to watch their establishment, which the banker was obviously doing. 

“I try sometimes.” 

“You could’ve tried harder.” Kakuzu griped. “You know this is a restaurant of class and stature. Hell, we started carrying suit jackets in the back for guests who came looking like you. I would offer you one, but your shirt’s probably covered in fish grease.” 

“Gotta maintain that five star rating huh?” 

“Yes. .There’s a fuckin’ yelp influencers now.” He laughed and so did Kisame. 

“Yelp influencers?” That was the silliest thing he’d ever heard. 

“Yes. I know right. They have a trusted following on yelp, which I didn’t know about was a real thing. These people are then sent by Yelp to try new things.” Kakuzu rolled his eyes. “I swear if I didn’t love money so much-” 

“But you do.” 

“Hey, with money and power comes influence.” Kakuzu said. “It’s really simple.” 

“Man that’s why I love my little spot, there isn’t any of that bullshit. No yelpers.” 

“Hey that’s where the money is. Women between the ages of 30-45 trust yelp, and you know who plans dates and places to take their families? Women.” Kakuzu said. “So it’s simple. Get the yelpers, get the women, and get the money. Now getting business to host lunch meetings here is a whole nother ball game.” 

“Yeah.” Kisame said. “I’ve never really had a brain for all that stuff.” 

“You’re a smart man. You could have a brain for it. Take that small little shop of yours and make it a Mcdonalds. Easy to access and affordable.” 

“The paper called my restaurant-” 

“Quaint.” The words rolled off the bankers tongue with a mild distaste, as if he’d eaten something very sour. “Quaint isn’t making you _enough_ money, Kisame.” Kakuzu always had this idea that Kisame could capitalize on the success of his small shop by turning it into some corporate giant. That was the banker’s favorite pastime, taking small things and turning them into gold . The only thing he lusted after in the world was money. (Maybe Hidan, but that was one minor exception)

“I’m okay with that. I have a nice amount of savings and I live a regular life.” 

“But don’t you want something better?” Kakuzu asked. “You know, you and Hidan are much alike. I tried to convince the fool that he doesn’t need to work for you. With my influence and wealth he could get a better job. Still, he’d rather work for you making-” 

“I pay him a fair wage.” Although Kisame and Kakuzu were friends, there were certain things they didn’t see eye to eye about, business was one of them. 

“Fair and _sustainable_ aren’t the same thing. Sure he could find a small apartment in some nice part of town with his salary, but what about building something?” 

“Everyone isn’t a builder.” Kisame said. “Somebody always has to work for someone or businesses like this wouldn't exist.” 

Kakuzu allowed a small laugh, akin to a minacile chuckle, to escape his lips. For a moment he almost looked surprised at Kisame’s statement. “You’re right, my friend. You’re right.” 

“Is this what you called me here about to trash my business, that currently employs your husband.” Kisame said. “The least you can do is offer me a moscow mule.” 

“Oh yes.” Kakuzu called the waiter over with one simple wave of the hand. He had his staff whipped, it seemed. “Bring us two moscow mules and two Saki-burgers well done.” She bowed and was quickly off to retrieve like a dog fetching a ball. Kisame should take notes. He couldn't convince his staff to do bare minimum things like take out the trash. “Satisfied?”

“Maybe.” Kisame said. “I hope they won’t water it down. That drink I had at your opening was very watered down.” 

“Hey. Hey. You gotta keep the people coming back. If you got drunk too fast you’d stop ordering.”

They both laughed Kakuzu was still the same man he’d always been. Cheap and an opportunist. 

“Do you really cook those burgers with Saki?” Kisame asked, curious. 

“Hello no.” Kakuzu laughed. “Some cheap vodka that costs about three dollars a bottle when you buy it in bulk. When you cook liquor it all tastes the same.” They both let out a laugh at Kakuzu's cheap ways. If Kisame didn’t have the integrity, he too would probably stoop so low. 

“So what’s been going on with you, brother, any new conquest in your life?” Kakuzu asked. 

“Well there is one.” 

“Oh. Is that so?” Kakuzu gave Kisame a knowing smile. “Kisame Hoshigaki. Always a slick one with the BTB.” 

Kisame chuckled. “I mean this one’s different though.” 

“So this one will take you out the game?” 

“Maybe. I wouldn’t mind it.” 

“Well, I hope he’s well behaved, unlike Hidan.” 

“Oh yes.” Itachi was nothing like Hidan. He carried himself with class and dignity. He knew who he was and held a quiet confidence behind those clock-strikes-midnight eyes. Kisame longed to see those eyes roll into the back of his head as he hit from the back over and over and- “He’s a class act.” 

“What’s his name.” 

“Itachi Uchiha.” 

“Oh the Uchiha?” 

“What?” Kisame had no idea Itachi’s family had any notoriety.

“His family makes hair products. Uchiha hair. They make a pretty great conditioner, I’ve heard. I don’t use their products, because they're much too expensive for the likes of me.” Kakuzu probably used VO5. 

“Wow. Well I didn't know that. Itachi’s just a librarian.” 

“A librarian?” Kakuzu let a wheezing laugh boom from his chest, as the waitress returned with two moscow mules in copper cups. “You’re fucking a libarian. You can’t make this shit up.” 

“No.” Kisame said. “He’s not a regular librarian. He works with old books, like preserving artifacts. Honestly I’m not entirely sure what he does, it's confusing, but he loves it.” 

“He’s a librarian. A fancy librarian, but still a librarian all the same.” Kakuzu said. 

“Hey better than who you’re fuckin I’m just saying.” Kisame loved Hidan as an employee. When the man put his mind to it, he was a valuable asset to his team. He actually was really great with customers, believe it or not. They thought his personality was rough and endearing. Even so, Kisame would not want to come home to him at night. 

“Hey. Even Hidan has some redeemable qualities.” Kakuzu and the silver-haired man had made their relationship work somehow. “And he’s going to die of laughter when I tell him you’re fuckin’ a librarian.” 

Kisame took a sip of his moscow mule. “He’s beautiful though.” 

“Is He.” Kisame pulled out his phone and showed a picture to Kakuzu who analyzed it for a moment before smiling. “Cute.” 

“Yeah, and he got ass.” 

“He doesn’t have ass.” 

“He does have _ass.”_ Kisame emphasized. 

“Okay, so marry ‘em.” Kakuzu said. “He comes from a wealthy family obviously and he’s a catch.” 

“Maybe I will.” 

“I can’t believe you’re about to get taken out the game so easily. I was surprised at myself, but you Kisame? I thought maybe you’d never get married.” Kakuzu said. “I thought maybe you’d turn into one of those old bachelors. 50 years old still fuckin’ young men, trying to live out your youth.” 

“Hm.” 

“In college.” Kakuzu said. “It just seemed like you’d never grow up is all. I’m glad you found somebody you like and maybe you’re serious about it. I don’t know. But you got that annoying ass look on your face so you must be taken with this fellow.” 

“Something like that.” Kisame blushed, lightly. He knew his face gleamed everytime he mentioned Itachi, but secretly he hoped the other man was feeling it too. He wished the raven hung on to every moment they were together and secretly couldn’t wait for them to collide again. They were too galaxies circling each other, passing each other again and again, but always being pulled back by their irresistible gravitational pull. Slowly they would surely collide.

“I’m annoyed, but I brought you here to talk about something serious.” Kakuzu tossed back some of his mule, not bothering to use a straw. “I’ve spoken to Pein and Konan about your business, and hear me out. We, all three of us, think it would be a great thing to invest in. Imagine having a Hoshigaki on every street corner.. Everyone gets to partake in a small piece of your homemade seafood.” 

“C’mon man.” Kisame ground his teeth slightly. “I just told you a while back that I don’t want to do that. There’s no reason for me to want to expand my business. I’m happy.” 

“You could be happier and rich.” Kakuzu said. “I’m telling you. We’re taking Okane to suburbs next year, and working on a more accessible version of this restaurant for the working class. What do you say?” 

“N-” Kisame said. 

“Hey. Don’t say no. I’m your brother, and you’re my brother. Let me just introduce you to Pein and Konan.” Kakuzu said. “I’ll bring them by your shop and we’ll lay out our plan and ideas. If you hate it, we’ll drop it.” 

“Fine.” Kisame knew he wasn’t going to change his mind. He didn’t need millions of dollars to be happy. That would probably only add to his multitude of stresses. He was okay with the mediocre, but occasionally interesting life he led now. In fact now that he had Itachi, what else could he possibly need? 

He had a person he was interested in, a great dog, pretty nice home, and enough money. There was nothing else he craved. 

-KISMET-

Shisui: I gotta go to this stupid party thing.

Utakata: So you’re gonna leave me.

Shisui: You’ll miss me for the three hours I’ll be away.

Utakata: No. I have other guys that’ll fill my time. 

Shisui: I’m hurt. 

Utakata: Idc. 

Shisui: Heartless. Babe. Heartless. 

Utakata: I’m not your babe.

Shisui: Bae. 

Utakata: No. 

Shisui: Bae God.

Utakata: I hate you with a burning passion. 

Shisui: Will you be up later?

Utakata: I’m young. I don’t go to sleep early, old man. 

Shisui: I’ll talk to you later honey. 

Utakata: Alright snickerdoodle *rolling eye emoji*

Shisui didn’t want to admit it, but talking to Utakata brought a freshness to his life. While they only messed around through text and talked about very mundane things, Shisui actually found himself looking forward to that. 

There was only one problem. He hadn’t taken the other man out yet. He didn’t know how to just ask? He didn't know if Utakata was really into him or was he only texting him because he had nothing better to do. 

There was a thought. _What if Utakata was using him for some sick form of entertainment?_

The thought haunted him all the way to his cousin’s home. He picked Itachi up in his car. No doubt he felt just like Shisui felt about attending Deidara’s work party. _Annoyed and exacerbated._ But everyone else in the office was going to be there, and it would look very shady if they’d decided to opt out. So off they went. 

Shisui would rather be in the bed, and he didn’t skip a chance on going out and hitting up the town. 

“So we’ll be out before midnight?” Itachi asked, as he fastened his seat belt. 

“Yes, well unless it turns out to be a really fun party.” 

“I’m sure it won’t.” Itachi said. 

“So what have you been up to lately?” Shisui turned down the radio. Although the two worked together they never talked about anything too personal because Itachi always used the excuse “we’re at work, and I don’t want to talk about my personal life at work.” But now they weren’t at work, so this was the perfect chance for Shisui to gather intel. 

“Nothing.” There must’ve been something because for the last couple weeks, Itachi had been acting very differently. Looking into the distance smiling at nothing and even slacking off his work a couple of days. That wasn’t like Itachi. He usually got things done before being asked. Even now as he sat in this car, he had a slight blush on his face and his skin looked sun kissed. _He'd been out in the sun, but with who? When did he like to go out?_

“There’s something…” 

“No because you tell Sasuke everything.” _We need new things to talk about in our snapchat streak, Itachi._

“I swear this time I’ll keep it between me and you.” _Fingers crossed._

“Nope.” Itachi said. “If I tell you, I need collateral.” 

“Collateral?” Shisui thought for a moment. “Nothing interesting is-well Kakashi and Guy have boyfriends.” 

“That’s not collateral. I need to know something about you. So that way your father Obito can know something about you, if Sasuke happens to know something about me.” Shisui groaned. He’d been trapped. His father Obito was very emotional and just loved to give him emotionally charged lectures about his life. 

“Well, uhhh…” Shisui thought for a moment. Maybe he could tell him about Utakata. He’d been dying to talk to someone about it, someone that would give him sound advice. “Well I’ve been talking to this guy.” At this point, a bright red attacked his face. He cursed himself for sounding like an idiot. 

“You’ve been talking to this guy.” Itachi’s eyes widened waiting for more. 

“Well we’ve been texting. Met him online, but we exchanged numbers, and he’s pretty cool.” Shisui said. “It’s the one guy whose name I fucked up at the cafe?” 

“That guy?” 

“Yeah. Yeah. I don’t think he remembers it though, because he hasn’t brought it up.” 

“How old is he?” 

“Twenty four…” 

“You’re thirty…” 

“Yeah, but six years isn’t an insane age gap.” Shusui said. “And his birthday hasn’t come this year so he’ll be twenty five. So technically we’re only five years apart.” 

“He’s in an entirely different generation than you.” Itachi’s glance said, “seek therapy now.” Of course he didn’t think going outside of your age range was an option. “You were twenty-four once right? Were you really thinking about love?” 

“A little.” That was a lie. Shisui was up to very naughty un-Uchiha like things when he was twenty four. He was banned from an entire neighborhood at some point. “But hey he could be different.” 

“He’s twenty four?” 

“When you were twenty four all you did was work and read.” Shisui said. “Maybe he’s like that.” 

Itachi turned to the window, obviously not buying it. “Whatever you say.” 

!KISAITA!

 _He really thinks a twenty four year old is serious about pursuing a thirty year old? That only happens in novels written by old men._ Itachi expected more from his cousin. Maybe that he would date someone who was his age, and not chase after someone six years younger than him. Or Five years if what he says really checks out. 

“So what about you?” 

Hearing his cousin’s smug tone, made Itachi roll his eyes slightly. He of course had been overjoyed by the arrival of a new fresh face, Kisame. Kisame Hoshigaki was like a tall glass of ice cold water in the middle of a dessert. Refreshing and hydrating. Itachi felt as if he was actually thirty and not some old senile man going through his dry routine. 

Itachi honestly wouldn’t have called his routine dry until three weeks ago. Now Itachi did whatever he wanted. Instead of feeding Susanoo at seven, she received her meals at seven thirty. He slacked off at work a couple of days this week, and he stayed up till 11:30 on quite a few work nights. The Uciha was pushing the envelope and he loved it. Living life without the dreadful importance he placed on social constructs awoke something deep within him. And it all started after kissing Kisame in the park, unembarrassed to be seen getting tongued down by onlookers. 

They’d kissed in public about eight times since then. And Itachi secretly hoped there was more to come. 

“What about me?” Itachi smiled, slyly. “Well...I’ve also been seeing someone, cousin.” 

Shisui’s eyes fell out of his head, and his mouth fell open. He’d seen a ghost. “What? You?”

“Yes.” 

“Who?” Shisui’s who bordered on being offensive and being surprised. Offensive as in “who would go out with a stick in the mud like you” and who as in “wow I can’t believe you allowed someone to take you out.”

“Kisame.” Itachi mumbled the name, embarrassed and flushed. Although he didn’t care if anyone knew, he wanted Kisame all to himself. There was no way anyone else deserved a piece of the Hoshigaki. 

“Kisame Hoshigaki? Lacrosse, fish shop owner, frat Kisame?” 

“Yes.” 

“You and him?” 

“Yes.” 

“How did this happen?” Shisui's head exploded. He couldn't even begin to solve this very challenging equation. 

“Well we just hit it off at the fish market, and he gave me his number.” That was partly true, but he didn't need Shisui “the nosey” Uchiha knee deep in his personal life. 

“Wow. You two barely said a word to each other while we were there.” 

“Yeah, but it just happened.” Itachi said. 

“So you communicated through glances? Your eyes were saying ‘I want you baby.’ and he was saying ‘I want you too.’” 

Itachi rolled his eyes at his cousin's foolish antics once again. “Not quite, but I guess that’s the gist.” 

“Well that’s awesome.” Shisui said. “Hopefully I’ll have a new cousin.” 

“Well we’ve only been dating for three weeks.” Itachi said. 

“Okay but that’s a long time nowadays.” Shisui said. “I barely make it to the two week mark.”

“There was something I wanted to ask you.” Itachi thought that he’d better gather information on Kisame. Shisui did go to college with him, and while he was charming, he didn't know everything about the man. “Well you went to school with him. What was he like then?”

“A ball of fun.” Shisui said.

“I meant his love life.” Itachi blushed asking. 

“I really don’t know.” Shisui eyes averted. “We were friends, but I wouldn't say we were super close. Afterall I wasn’t in his frat. You must really like him don’t you?” 

“What do you mean?” Itachi's eyes darted away from Shisui's. He didn’t want to be in the hot seat. 

“I mean you’re asking about him. You don’t usually ask about anything.” 

“Like I said, you can’t tell Sasuke.” Itachi shut Shisui down quickly. _Yes I like him. But why do you care?_

“Scouts honor.” 

….Kismet….

Deidara’s home wasn’t quite how Itachi pictured it to be. He would’ve thought the man lived in the ruins of a home in the middle of the woods, but he actually lived in a small upscale loft on the west side of the city. His apartment was in a very nice area, and came with it’s own courtyard, pool, and various other accommodations. 

What really surprised Itachi was the inside, which was decorated very nicely, and not the nuclear war aftermath Itachi expected to walk into. The furniture was modern, and there was lots of space. The place was lit by hanging lanterns, which gave the wood floors an amber hue. It was no surprise Deidara chose this over the fluorescent in the ceiling. Deidara hated fluorescent lighting. He said it killed art. 

“This place is nice.” Shisui said as he took his shoes off. 

“Thank you.” Diedara said. “My husband Sasori is an interior designer, and he’s big on this sorta thing. Really isn’t my style, but if my man likes it, so be it.” 

“So didn’t have a say so in the apartment design?” Itachi asked, innocently, but the blond shot him an annoyed look. 

“I wouldn’t say that. I got to pick the comforter in our room, and of course I have my own art room, yeah. So I wouldn’t say that Itachi, hmmph.” Deidara walked them to the living room, where a couple of their other co-workers (Shizune, Iruka, Ibisu, Kurotsuchi and Kurenai) were sitting around sipping on merlot. Kurenai also brought her husband Asuma out to join the festivities. 

“Shisui, I know you love merlot.” their co-worker Shizune offered the bottle to him. “Please have a glass. I bought six bottles to share.” 

“Well in that case I’ll make sure you take none of them home.” Shisui smiled partaking in a huge glass of wine. So huge in fact Itachi was going to remind him that wine glasses weren’t supposed to be filled all the way to the brim. He was starting to wonder was he the only human on earth that knew how to drink from a wine glass properly. 

“At that rate, I won’t be taking any home.” She laughed. 

“Hey. Hey. Wouldn’t want you to get a ticket for having an open container.” Shisui took a gulp of wine, and Itachi knew he would be driving home. 

Deidara’s party was in full swing after a while, and he was making sure they were all filled up with wine and fancy treats. Deidara’s boyfriend, who arrived home a little later from a work obligation, also joined the fun. 

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” He said. “I hate keeping people waiting.” 

“This is Sasori, my man.” Deidara grabbed the man’s hand, and while Itachi didn’t particularly like Deidara he could tell from the way they looked at each that there was some love there. The man practically looked at Deidara’s body the way Kisame had looked at him when he picked him up. Anytime he caught the blue-haired man glancing it seemed as though he was looking at him for the first time all over again, and a flutter would dance in the Uchiha’s stomach. 

“So you must be Itachi and Shisui.” Sasori approached the two mid parties. At this point everyone was mildly intoxicated, save for Itachi. They’d down three of the bottles of merlot, whiskey Deidara provided, scotch Iruka provided, and other bottles Itachi couldn’t name. He didn’t drink much. He was still sipping on his usual drink, a cranberry vodka. 

“Yeah.” Shisui smiled, a little liquid courage beamed in his eyes. “That’s us.” 

“Heard so much about you.” Sasori’s eyes were dead. Itachi thought his own eyes were devoid of life, but Sasori’s were like two billiard balls that were placed inside his cranium. The man had very little spirit and spoke with all the enthusiasm of a worn out customer service worker. 

“Only good things.” Shisui took a sip of wine, and Itachi was grateful he was finally sipping instead of gulping away at it. Still he made slurrpy sounds, which struck a nerve. _Sip silently._

“I wouldn’t say good.” Sasori chuckled. Itachi was well aware that the blond didn’t favor him, and he really wasn’t curious about what Deidara had to say about him. 

“Well that’s too bad.” Shisuii said. “Because Deidara says very little about you.” 

“Is that so?” Sasori looked over to his boyfriend, who was chatting up Asuma andKurenai. Deidara had a polarizing personality and either people really loved him or they hated his guts. Itachi, was something entirely different, he neither hated or loved the blond. Honesty he had no opinion at all about the blond. 

“Yeah, I didn't know he was even dating anyone.” Shisui chuckled, obviously the wine was going right to his brain. 

“Well that’s...that’s we’re engaged.” The red head seemed annoyed and a little bit angry that the blond never mentioned him at work. “I tell my clients all the time. Does he wear his ring?” 

Itachi didn’t want to say anything because this had nothing to do with him. Deidara already disliked him for whatever reason, there was no reason to destroy his engagement.

“Fuck no.” Shisui said. “A ring? I’ve never seen a ring on that man’s finger in my life.” 

“So he doesn’t wear his ring to work?” Sasori frowned. “That was my grandmother's Chiyo ring, and I hate her guts. I had to get it resized for his big man fingers and everything.” 

“That’s so fuckin’ ridiculous.” Shisui was very intoxicated, and Itachi could tell by the way the s sound slurred out of his mouth. He foamed at the mouth when he made the sound. “If I were you, I’d def have a talk with Dei. Dei.” 

“Dei. Dei?” Sasori growled. “He only lets me call him Dei Dei?” 

“Well he lets everyone at the office call him Dei Dei.” There wasn’t an ounce of truth to Shisui’s words, but Itachi could tell he was just drunk and being silly. He needed to step in. 

“No. No.” Itachi explained. “He actually doesn’t. He’s very professional. We all were surprised that he even wanted us over here.” Itachi wasn’t one to stick up for Dediara in any situation, but to bring their work rivalry (although as one sided as it was) into Deidara’s home wasn’t in his plans. 

“Hmmm…” Sasori looked like he was contemplating confronting his lover in front of everyone, but he didn’t. He simply gave Itachi a “You gave me a lot to think about.” Then he walked off, leaving Shisui and Itachi by themselves. 

“What's wrong with you?” Itachi asked his cousin.

“Nothing man. I’m just feeling this merlot. It comes with power.” 

“I know you don’t like Deidara, Shisui, but you didn't need to ruin his relationship.” Itachi groaned to himself, and hoped Sasori didn't confront Deidara about this. That was the last thing he needed. They were already competing, well Deidara was more so competing for the position. He didn’t need more one sided drama between them. 

“Did I?” Shisui eyes grew two times their size. “I would never do that. I swear. I would never-” His words were still slurred. 

“You did. Well I tried to smooth it over, but hopefully it works out.” 

“It will. I’m sorry.” 

“You better be.” Itachi said. 

“Also I’m happy for you. That you're living a real life cousin. Getting out of the house and Kisame is a very special guy, but I’m telling you this for your own protection. You asked me in the car and wasn't really honest with you. Watch out. He was a real player back in college, and I’m not talking about lacrosse. They called him BTB Kisame.” 

“BTB?” 

“Behind the Back Pass.” Shisui explained. “It’s a lacrosse term. He’s an amazing person, but he’s been known to get anyone out of their clothes. So many people in fact it’s a wonder he never got me out of mine.” 

Itachi thought about this for a moment. Could he judge a man for his behavior in college? Kisame didn't seem like that man now. He was thirty one years old and didn’t seem to have any semblance of life outside of work and his dog. That was all he talked about. Could it be possible that he was just using Itachi as an experiment? He just wanted to see the Uchiha undress for him?

A block of ice formed in the stomach of Itachi. _Is this true?_

“But don’t worry.” Shisui said. “He’s thirty something now. That’s just college fodder. Everyone has a past.” 

Although Itachi wasn’t allowing anyone to see it, he was worried. He wanted to know Kisame’s true intentions. Hopefully for Kisame’s sake they were pure. Itachi may not look like it, but he could reign hell upon his life with just one flick of his wrist. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Itachi said. “You need to worry about fixing the damage you caused to Deidara’s relationship.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never set out to write such long chapters, but somehow it comes out that way. I'm usually worried I won't even make 3,000 words, but this chapter had over 5,000 words lol. 
> 
> Any who as always I'd love to hear what you liked or didn't like. ;) Thanks for the kudos. See you next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free comment and tell me what you thought ;)
> 
> Also if you enjoy Shisui and Utakata I have a ShiUta centric story called I don't date Idiots, with some KisaIta on the side because of course lol!


End file.
